My wife and I have discovered that in marriage we will have desires and challenges, many of which are a direct result of the desires God places on our hearts and most of which we create ourselves. We all get busy doing things that take up a lot of our time, some of them necessary but most are done out of kindness and our desire to support others. Take a moment and ask yourself, ‘Am I busy doing things for the benefit of others, myself, or for God?’ Once we got this mixture of options in the correct order, we’ve found that when we are doing things for God it includes all three, God, others, and ourselves.
Doing things for others with the right heart is great, but is it what God has called you to? At one point, I found myself serving in the children’s ministry and the affect I had on the children was great and Godly but not what I was called to do at that stage of my life. When I heard in my spirit, “This is not where I want you to be even though you are beneficial to the children’s ministry.” The Scripture that came to my mind was the one where Jesus speaks concerning a group of people who knew of him but did not have a strong enough relationship with him to learn the purpose God created them for. Matthew 7:21-23 ~ “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
Likewise, there are things that we like to do for ourselves such as exercising, eating, working, spending time with each other, friends, vacationing, ect. These are all things that we desire and benefit us in the sense that they bring us joy, but is it what God has intended for us? It took us a while to understand that when the Bible states God shall give you the desires of your heart it comes with a contingency, and that being you delight yourself in him. We learned when we delight ourselves in him, we are doing his will and not our own, but because it brings us pleasure when we are obedient to his will, it is good for us. Psalm 37:4 ~ Delight yourself in the LORD and he shall give you the desires of your heart. God knows our hearts and knows what’s best for us. We can spend time chasing our dreams without him, and that’s a lot of work for a fleeting time of joy, or we can do his will, bringing him joy and allow him to bless us as he desires. That will make us joyful and enhance our relationship with him.
Many people work a job to go on vacation. What we have learned is that doing the will of God (our job) through marriage coaching is refreshing because it is what he desires of us and what we desire to do. We don’t work to go on vacation, we find joy in what we do and going to visit a place we have not been, such as a little island in the middle of the Bahamas or a beachfront in Mexico is a time of refreshing. It’s a time when we continue to enjoy the surroundings and tell the local residents our testimony and hear theirs.
When we began to seek his will for our lives by learning from others who have discovered his will for theirs, what we discovered is that we are unique to what he desires for us. There are many people who can do what you do to accomplish a task. There is no one who can do it the way you do it when God has anointed you. He will draw others to you because you are serving him by doing his will.
While discovering his purpose for you and being obedient to him you will find that you can serve others, find joy in life, and hear his son say to you, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Matthew 25:21 ~ His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’
Think it’s time to press the reset button on your life? Do it slowly and in accordance with God’s will for your life, and in agreement with your spouse. Herein you will find your blessings. Make time to talk with your spouse. Discover God’s will for your life and watch Psalm 133 come alive for you. “…how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell in unity! …for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.”